Wanted: One Phone Booth

While cell phones have certainly made pay phones unnecessary, I think there's one piece of equipment that goes along with pay phones that we still need -- phone booths. Let me explain.

I work in a cube farm. I would love for people to think that my glamorous job has me perched in a beautiful office with windows on two sides at Fourth and State with a stunning view of downtown.

I know that no one really thinks that. That's good, because here's the reality. I'm in a little box of a nondescript color with fabric walls. I think it was once beige, but two or three decades of exposure to florescent lighting has tinged it a little pink. It's kind of the color of Pepto Bismol, but not quite as bubble gum.

My window view is behind my back, and it's mostly a panorama of the old Arena, which I think is now called the U.S. Cellular Arena.

About 18 inches away from me is one of my co-workers. Good news: I like her. Bad news: We hear every breath the other one takes.

I know all the ins and outs of her personal life as she does with mine, both because we are friends and also because we can hear EVERY WORD the other one says.

At the farm, we're all in this situation, just in different pairs and combos. We are all on top of each other, monitoring each other's vitals.

Now with this picture painted for you, answer this: How do you call your gynecologist to ask about test results? How do you call the vet for antifungal cream for the dog -- and hope that no one else hears and assumes it is for you?

You grab your cell phone and head for the ... what? We have conference rooms that are used just about nonstop. As a result, you see a lot of people lurking in hallways, trying to have a semi-private conversation and hoping that no one comes by.

If someone does, you shuffle off to another little-used hallway, and again, hope for the best. Yeah, it usually doesn't work out. In fact, I almost always find myself heading down a hallway, just to find someone else there, crouched on the floor, talking on his cell phone. There's one guy in our farm who spends about a third of his day in the hallway.

There's one woman (not in my department) who I have heard talking on her cell phone in the bathroom stall on more than occasion. Ick.

If all of us farmers pooled our funds, we could probably get a phone booth or two pretty cheap. I'm going to check eBay.

And if I like them enough, maybe I'll wedge one into a corner with some windows and just move in.